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A termite walks into a bar10/6/2023 nder is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the barte. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. %u201CWell,%u201D he says, %u201Dyou%u2019re gonna be when theĬ, E-flat, and G go into a bar. She looks at him longingly and replies that she hasn%u2019t. Kissed and again she answers, %u201CNo.%u201D He then bends over and gives her a veryĪsks her, %u201CMadam, have you ever been fooked.%u201D The Scotsman asks her if she has ever been Hugged?%u201D She replies that she has notĪnd he bends down and gives her a very embracing hug. With sympathy looks down at her and asks, %u201CMy young lady, have you ever been The Irishman looking into his glass sadly notices a fly in his pint asĪnd starts shaking it violently while declaring, %u201CSpit it out you devil! Spit it out!%u201DĪ Brit, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are walking along theīeach one day when they come upon a young, attractive woman laying on the beach He casually reaches in, grabs the fly, throws The Scotsman also notices a fly in his glass. Indignant voice, %u201Cthere is a fly in my glass.īring me a fresh draught immediately!%u201D The bartender quickly sets them up and theīrit, noticing a fly swimming in his glass declares, %u201CSir!%u201D, in his most Pub and each orders a pint of their favorite ale. (From the Music Library Association:)Ī Brit, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into their local The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. But I've given up whiskey for Lent!"Ī C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. "Oh, me two brothers and I, we live far apart. Liam is home in Dublin near our Ma, and Conor is in London, but we promised every Friday we'd go out and order three whiskies just like we used to do when we all lived together back home." The bartender says that's a fine tradition, and they become friends since Sean comes in every week and "virtually" drinks with his brothers.įinally one spring evening Sean comes in and orders two whiskies. Bartender shrugs and plops three shot glasses down in front of him and fills them up. Sean drinks from one, then the other, then the third, cycling through them until he's finished.Įach Friday night he comes in and does this, and after a few times the bartender asks what kind of strange ritual that is. The bartender just asks him if he wants a triple, and he says no, it's gotta be three whiskies. Sean moves from Ireland to New York City, and on a Friday night finds a bar near his apartment, where he sits down and orders three whiskies.
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